it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
