There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
