People with herpes should wear stickers.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Pooping to opera.
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