Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
