I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
