I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
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