I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
