Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
no you cant smoke seaweed
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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