areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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