Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
