I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
