Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
