What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
