we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
