in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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