You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
