No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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