State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize