Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Randomize
