ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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