I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
