wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
