No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
