i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
