At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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