Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
