Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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