hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
