My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
