yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
