I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
