apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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