I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
