Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
