first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
