idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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