Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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