At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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