i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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