I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
where are my eyebrows?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
