Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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