i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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