My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
