Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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