you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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