Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
PANTIES FOUND
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