I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize