so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
