it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
