Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
