gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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