Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
