i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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