So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
