this just has baby written all over it
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Randomize
