The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
