You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
