i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
